Though I believe that my writing is going well, there are still a few things that I could use feedback and help on. To start off, I’m not so sure about the strength of my topic sentence. I wrote, “On the outside, Miss Prism and Dr. Chasuble seem to be a match made in heaven but, upon closer inspection, their relationship is just as fake as the rest of the relationships in The Importance of Being Earnest.” What I wrote seems to me to be an obvious thing to say and a repetitive idea, considering it is the start of the third body paragraph. Also, I could use some advice on how to make some of my commentary a little stronger. The commentary that need work are “…making him not as great of a priest as brought up to be by Miss Prism” and “Dr. Chasuble, being a priest, finds it wrong that he is attracted to Miss Prism, so he imagines her in a higher place among society as a way to excuse himself from getting distracted from his duties.” Any ideas on what might strengthen these statements could help. I might just re-write them. The last thing I need to work on are some of my transitions. I am unsure of what to write to transition from my topic sentence to talking about what Chasuble thinks of Prism and from Prism wanting to be with chasuble for repentance to how Chasuble isn’t as great of a priest as Prism thinks. For that transition, I wrote “However, pursuing this idea further you will find that Dr. Chasuble is not as great of a priest as Miss Prism believes.” If any of these don’t need to be changed, just say so, if they do, any advice helps! Thanks for your help!
